Murphy’s Law in the Morning

Murphy’s Law states: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong” and boy this morning was that ever true!

I had an appointment this morning at 8:15 on the other side of the county to get some yearly physical tests run. I set my alarm to go off at 6:30 with that new Joe Jonas song that I equally despise and can’t stop listening to all at the same time. Somehow my iPod came unconnected from the dock during the night and said alarm never rang. I woke up at 7:30, which was actually the time I needed to LEAVE not wake up! Somehow I got up, got dressed, brushed my teeth and hair, put myself together, even threw on a little makeup, and got out the door in 7 minutes. Yay me!

I hate the feeling of running late. I’m an early bird in terms of arriving somewhere. I always have been. The stress of knowing you’re going to be late is something I can’t handle. The stress of knowing I am leaving someone waiting really bothers me. I’m too OCD and I like to do things on my own terms, and my terms so happen to be arriving on time or early if possible. So that feeling of dread settled on my shoulders and pressed down with malicious glee.

I was driving (Very fast!) down the interstate, luckily coming across no cops along the way, listening and singing along to that stupid Joe Jonas song on loop, because apparently I’m a glutton for punishment (Damn catchy tune!), happy with the time I was making, when I had to switch roads. The road that was the next path on my little morning jaunt was a standstill parking lot. Hello Murphy! I’m not pleased to see you and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!

I took the first exit off of this road and immediately called Jamison to find a way across country that would allow me to make it there without having to get back on to the parking lot extraordinaire. I knew of one short cut, but it would make me have to get back on parking lot road and I knew there had to be another path. He found one and luckily I walked in the door at 8:14. I had an overwhelming sense of relief!

After my first appointment I had a second one that I needed to go to, which luckily was two buildings up from the building I was currently in. Unfortunately Murphy decided to come back and sit on my shoulder again because they didn’t call me back until 15 minutes AFTER my appointment was supposed to be, so that crushing feeling of stress moved back on in. Lovely. Murphy was on my last nerve at this point.

Somehow she managed to finish my appointment and I walked in to my next meeting with yet another minute to spare. I heaved another sigh of relief, signed in and sat down to wait for my 9:15 appointment. Murphy being ever the “helpful” little law that it thinks it is came back in terms of them running behind. I wasn’t as overwhelmed by this because I had no where specific to be after that other than running by the store and then returning home to do school, and neither of those expected me to be there at a specific time.

After a few minutes of playing Crazy Quilt Solitaire on my iPod to help me ignore the really bad programming they had on their waiting room TV, I realized that the poor woman next to me was shaking. She was 7 months pregnant and had just taken her blood glucose test. The test wasn’t settling well and she was trying not to throw up. With this one I just wanted to flip Murphy the bird. I mean come on! This poor woman was already miserably pregnant, still having day long nausea from her little bundle of joy and then Murphy comes in and throws her a curve ball. Murphy kindly go home!

I began talking to the lady next to me to distract her a bit. She was a fabulously nice lady, who simply felt like dirt and my heart went out to her. We had a nice little conversation, despite the fact she really just wanted to hurl. It was one of those things I like to call a drive by friendship, because you’ll most likely never meet again, but you are there in the moment, and I hope I helped her in some way, though I know she really felt miserable, but I really do think I helped a bit. A bit is better than nothing. I wish I could have done more for her. She went back right before I did to have her blood work done. I felt joyous for a moment because I wanted to smirk at Murphy and yell “Is that all you’ve got? Come on!”

I was called back several minutes later to do my blood work and I took a sip of water from a bottle in my purse not realizing it was “strictly forbidden” by the facility. I wanted to roll my eyes at the woman, but I simply put the lid back on my bottle and told her I hadn’t realized that was the fact and the incident passed without drama. Murphy rearing his ugly little head again, but I nipped him in the bud. That’ll teach Murphy to mess with me!

Luckily my blood tests went off without a hitch and I made my way out to the parking lot about 2 minutes later. When I got in my car, I saw the poor woman that I had spoken with hunched over in the parking lot trying not to hurl. Her mother was easing her toward the car, and you could see the nausea had definitely not left her. At this point I wanted to run Murphy over with my car. Murphy I have decided should be banned before noon at least, if not all together!

Lesson learned? Murphy sucks and you shouldn’t tempt him once he gets rolling or he’ll only make it worse.

What I really want to say to Murphy? Eff you, you vile monster! Go back to the hole you crawled out of and stay there!

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